GIRL, 18 years old high school senior.
BOY, a few years older student.
STRANGER, student’s friend with benefits and no strings attached.
LAD I, high school student.
LAD II, high school student.
FRIEND I, student, female.
FRIEND II, student, female.
Darkness. We hear Girl’s voice.
GIRL. I’m writing you this letter. Because I don't remember. I don't remember these mornings when after a sleepless night you would pour me wine you have bought early that morning, when first rays of sunshine have touched the windows of the shop and placed shadows on the counter. I don't remember how you eat, how you smile, I can’t remember any of that. And what you’ve been telling me, in a few days have become just secrets. Do you remember? We’re silent while driving. We watch streetlights through the windows. Night. Our heads are up, eyeballs are catching every piece of light, even blinding ones, even too warm, hot ones. Passing ones. Running ones. Will everything just pass? It will run, it will echo in the forests and clearings of this town. It’s like even clocks are made so that second is shorter here. The cavities of your insides are like erupting Hekla volcano I would like to step on. There are only bitter smokes of cigarettes and words, easily forgotten by everyone who heard them, coming from your mouth. I forgot the sound of your voice… As Hekla is buried in deep snow in winter, your magma is covered by thick skin and there also are your muscles, blurry but firm. Not in favor of those who touch it. We can’t shine at daytime when it is already light. Do you think sun doesn’t want to love human bodies and that is why it is more often hiding behind the clouds? It seems that days are becoming shorter. It doesn’t matter it is autumn or spring. But nights are long with reddening eyes. They are looking for shadows in the rooms; maybe ghosts exist and there is life after death? But even during the visit in an old palace which is supposed to be haunted, we find nothing there. Just the echoes of our steps. And an old clock which slowly, slower than others, counts seconds. You are thrilling everyone who you are distancing from and you know very well that nowadays it is allowed to do that. You are so far from me. I can barely see a shadow of your smile somewhere in the horizon of Northen shores. As you know, sun is stubborn at some places, it doesn't get down even to get a glimpse of shimmering ocean. As it, I can't leave my position. I’ve planted my feet in almost tenacious and softly caressing sand. I lean forward and can barely see you somewhere there, far away. My arms and legs are getting numb, “nerve vertebraes are pressed but you’re still young, you won't die,” once again I’m listening to the verdict of the night shift doctor.
I’m writing to you. Don’t you think that I am a graphomaniac. It’s just the way it is – I correct my words just a little bit, to correct the cases. Words are flowing. Like rivers and springs and paths in a summer rain. I see you are happier than ever and you wash in the water from rainwater pipe that forbidden fruit from the supermarket. You like rain. So smile, enjoy with other greats, you also are great. Let’s remember those songs we used to think nobody else knows. Remember how you used to put food in my mouth. If I had to choose to starve or be with you, I don't know what would be better. Shouldn't I just drop this asking letter and go after the waft of you, however far you would be? Anyway, I always feel the smell of you.
Stage. A bed, a pink broken chair, a table. Clothes splattered on the floor.
Silhouette of the Girl rises from the bed. As if choking, she draws a few breaths. She calmly looks around. Gets out of the bed and awkwardly stretches. She walks around the room. She watches the chair.
A few minutes later the Boy yawns. He slowly gets up, puts on trousers, he flutters towards her and stands in front of her still watching the chair.
Both are still sleepy.
BOY. Something’s wrong?
GIRL. Do you remember this chair? It is uncomfortable. Its back is broken. It was this way when you came back, all happy and excited, telling the story of how you stole it right under some old woman’s nose. You just stopped the car, grabbed it and drove away. Pink… We both liked pink. Strange how just in a year taste might change.
BOY. I still like this chair.
GIRL. It is beautiful, I’m not saying it’s not. We just didn't fix the back as we said… Oh well. Maybe it has to be this way.
BOY. Do you want coffee? I’ll make some.
He goes into the dark. We hear kitchen sounds and changing radio stations.
GIRL. (to him and herself) Today is the last day of the vacation.
GIRL (louder). Today is the last day of the vacation. (Long silence, she waits for the answer) Today is the last day of us.
Boy enters with a cup in his hand. He gives the cup to the Girl.
BOY. You said something?
GIRL. No, nothing. You didn't make one for yourself?
BOY. You know I don't like to rush.
GIRL. Are you in a rush?
BOY. I thought we both are.
GIRL. Why rush? We can have a cup of coffee together.
BOY. You’re still very young. You’ll see, you’ll be rushing yourself. And in a few years you will rush to end things.
GIRL. Here you go again.
BOY. And I’m ending it right away. Let’s not talk about it today. Let's not talk about it anymore.
GIRL. I wanted to tell you that today is the last day of vacation.
BOY. I know, you don’t have to remind me.
GIRL. So why are you rushing to end it?
BOY. I told you, my flatmates are coming back today, you can’t stay here any longer. I need to clean everything. Just look – we moved furniture, sink is full of dirty dishes and all these fucking clothes… Everything has changed and now everything has to go back to the way it was.
GIRL. We modified it as we wanted. Maybe they will like it too?
BOY. I told you they wouldn’t.
GIRL. You’re so certain… What if?...
BOY. No, no, no, they can't know someone else has been living here. I’ll need whole day to get rid of the smell of your perfume. You have to leave, understand.
GIRL. (watches the chair) You’ll get rid of the chair too?
BOY. You can take it.
GIRL. (laughs trying to lighten up the atmosphere) I would look good with a luggage and a chair on my back.
BOY. Drink your coffee.
GIRL. I’m drinking.
BOY. You had just a few sips. It must be cold.
BOY. What do you want me to say? I’ve told you that before and we both knew that this day will come.
GIRL. I didn't expect it to stay that way when the day comes. You see, I think that even when time to die comes, we don’t react the way we expected… Maybe it comes when you’re in peace with it? I don’t know, but I’m not ready yet.
BOY. It’s about time you are.
GIRL. Okay, I’ll pack soon.
She leaves into the darkness. He stays alone, touches all the things on the stage. He smells them, drops them, picks up again… She comes back.
GIRL. Turn on the light, I can’t see a thing. Your room is so dark… And you like to live like this, without a single window?
BOY. Yes, I like it.
He tries to turn on the light but fails.
BOY. Electricity still is off.
GIRL. What about the candles?
BOY. There should be a few left.
He finds and lights candles and places them. She comes to him, hugs and kisses his neck and back. She knocks him down and kisses his back.
BOY. Stop it, it’s enough.
She stops, leans back and ties her hair.
GIRL. Did you ever need it at all?
BOY. Yes, many times, but not today. Please.
BOY. Have you packed already? I need to clean…
GIRL. You won't leave anything as it is?
BOY. No, I won't.
GIRL. It’s just a holiday affair, just a way to pass the time? You needed a girl who would be yours! Wasn't it like that?
BOY. I never said you were mine.
GIRL. And I never said you were mine. It’s bullshit to try to own people…
BOY. It’s bullshit that you haven’t prepared for today.
GIRL. I don't like endings. You know that. I’ve told you many times, I’ve not been able to end things, ever. Maybe that’s why I’m confused by death. It ends everything, even unfinished people.
BOY. You’re talking as if you’re gonna die after leaving through that door. Everything is going to go on, only us will end.
GIRL. You’re a moron.
GIRL. You’re a moron because you, I can see clearly that you don't want that, but you end everything because of people you are living with. And that is just temporarily.
BOY. Hey, I’m living with them for four years. We’re friends, we’re commune. None of us has ever been involved in a relationship with others. Well, of course, there was one who brought a beauty here… In a few weeks they realized they are in the way of this way of living and soon afterwards they left. I’ve told you, I don’t want to leave. And I don’t want to introduce you to them. There was no future for us since the day we met. Who could ever thought that after that one night we would meet for the second, for the third, for the fourth time and everything will end up with some feelings for three months…
GIRL. But now we like it. I like that finally I can feel something for another person, that I care for you. All this time, even when you just left to shop, I was waiting for you to come back. I even showered and shaved my legs for you! And I spent all of my vacation in these rooms… I was the only one who didn’t leave the apartment. And just sometimes you were here with me. Now I need to feel something for you.
BOY. You have to leave. Don’t even try. They are coming back today and exactly today we have to go back to our lives, okay?
GIRL. Maybe we had to finish everything on the first day, before everything. Maybe then I would have left free. But how now I can feel freedom if there is so little of it left? It just official is. Just a line in the passport. You are kicking me out? A free citizen can’t be free and leave her lover’s apartment because something is telling that after closing the door, it will be closed forever and I won’t be able to say your name ever again.
BOY. You’re not saying it anyways. Do you even remember it?
GIRL. Strange… I almost forgot.
BOY. So you can leave.
In silence she is picking up her clothes. She’s looking for something.
GIRL. I can’t find my shirt.
BOY. Which one?
GIRL. That… Your. The one you gave me. Or just borrowed?
BOY. No. It’s for you.
GIRL. You don’t want to keep it?
BOY. I would have to throw it away… It’s soaked in your smell. Will you be done soon?
Both are silent. She keeps packing. She finds a necklace with a cross on the floor. She puts it on.
GIRL. You kept asking me why I need church… I didn’t believe in God. Maybe just a little. I wouldn’t even think of something bigger and softer than the world. I didn’t believe in life after death. I used to think it is going to be dark and empty, like it was before the birth, there was nothing there… But when I met you, I somehow started to believe. I never felt better. Because of this ability to feel something so good, I started to believe in something bigger than us and something else than just an end. (She snorts, giggles and talks with irony and disdain in her voice) I made myself believe in God and go to mass every Sunday so that I could talk to it about us. About you. So that I could be begging him to make you feel the same way I feel and it wouldn’t end like it is ending now. The way you predicted after a few days we spent together… And you didn't let me go to church… But I still begged him that even if you didn’t say anything to anyone, you wouldn’t want to let me go, because I had never before felt anything like this in my head and in my body… Eventually I wanted to stop and be the one I am with you. I wanted you to be able to say to me the second line of Song of the Songs! Your love is sweeter than wine… Have you ever said it?
Awkward silence. She starts saying something a few times but stops. Eventually she speaks.
GIRL. Won’t you say anything?
BOY. I’ve told you many times that this, between us, is just temporarily. Now it’s done.
GIRL. (almost angry) You already speak in past tense. You had your fun and games and now it’s enough?
BOY. Hey, I need to clean this all up until the night. I have no time. Pack faster. We slept half the day…
GIRL. Okay. I’ll pack in a second…
She slowly picks up her things, barely recognizing which are hers and which are his. She stops and thinks.
GIRL. I just realized that I’ve never had anything like this in other seasons of the year. Only in summer. All my affairs were just for vacations. From my very first love to this one… Strange, ain’t it?
He doesn’t reply. It seems like he doesn't even care. He just sits and watches the wall.
Doorbell rings. He jumps up.
GIRL. Somebody came back early?
BOY (slightly panicking). Fuck, you’re still here. Shit, what to do… Quick, grab you stuff, quick!
She hurries to grab all her stuff. Part of it falls from the luggage and scatters on the floor. It seems like it is snowing with dust from the luggage.
BOY. Shit… Stop, leave these cloths and go, I’ll bring them to you, ok?
She heads out, he grabs her arm and kisses her.
BOY. Go through kitchen window, ok? It’s first floor, you won't fall.
BOY. Quick, just go.
She leaves. Stranger comes in.
STRANGER. I’m back.
BOY (Happily hugs her) Hi. I’ve waited for you forever. How are you? Are you tired?
STRANGER. Ah, no… Why it’s so dark here? Turn on the light, why these candles…
BOY. Electricity is out.
STRANGER. How come?
She comes to the switch and turns on the light. Stage is brightly lighten. There are a lot of stuff scattered around.
STRANGER. Well? It works. (notices stuff on the ground) Whose things are these?
BOY. Oh… A friend stayed over, hasn’t cleaned up yet. I know her for a long time, since school. She needed a place to stay before starting senior year, she didn’t find a place to live yet. She moved here. She thinks schools are better here. But she’s out of here now.
STRANGER. Stupid thing to think. There’s no difference where you go to school.
Boy kisses Stranger. For a while they give in for it. Stranger backs off. She explores the stuff.
STRANGER. That girl has my style… Totally. Look, even skirts are in same shape. Strange… Even socks. All white. Absolutely all. I like this way too. Isn’t it strange for you?
BOY. (having no idea how to answer) I didn’t even notice. Is it? Yeah, yeah, it seems so…
STRANGER. (notices pink chair) New chair? Not bad. Just stupidly broken. Why didn't you fix it?
BOY. I didn’t have time yet. Leave it alone.
STRANGER. Will you introduce us?
STRANGER. You know that I like meeting new people, not just you.
BOY. Okay, we’ll see, maybe we’ll meet her somewhere.
He turns away not even trying to pretend to continue the chat and dresses up. He takes long time to button his shirt but he’s failing at finding the buttons. He is tense.
STRANGER. You’re going somewhere?
BOY. Mmm… Yes, I’m going.
BOY. Somewhere, I don't know. I need a walk.
Silence. He quickly buttons the shirt and leaves.
Five minutes scene.
There is a bed on the stage. Two lads sit on it, blows the smoke and drink from a dark brown plastic bottle (a usual for cheap beer). Silence. Just background music.
LAD I. Hey, dude, dude, take a puff.
LAD II. I can't, Tom, I’m high already…
LAD I. It’s ok, don't be nervous.
LAD II. Swell, ok…
Silence. They greedily suck the smoke, there’s a cloud above them.
LAD I. Dude… How is it for you with… What’s her name?
LAD II. Ah, not too shitty…
LAD I. I see…
They keep silent deep in their own thoughts until the end of the scene.
Boy and Girl bumps into each other on the street. They talk.
BOY. How are you?
GIRL. Good, you?
BOY. Ah, not bad, went for a walk.
BOY. So I’ll be going.
He leaves, she stays alone.
GIRL. There is an animal inside my body. Hungry. Insatiable. I keep wondering, what is it? Wild? Maybe it’s a roe deer, jumping through the wisps? She runs so fast, so elegant… Does anyone still remember how roe deer run? Maybe it’s a hog? Panting with unbearable desire to dig something up, ruin, eat, destroy… And then I’m a roe deer, jumping through the wisps straight into his jaws…
Oh! Phone got a notification. I made it send to me a notification every time he posts something. (She picks her phone and admires a picture).
They stand in front of each other. They try to speak but fail. Finally he dares to speak.
BOY. How are you?
GIRL. I’m good.
BOY. Where you’re coming from so dressed up?
GIRL. I’m not dressed up. I’m just going. Ah… I’ve been out. Met my friends, you know…
BOY. I know.
GIRL. And you?
BOY. Nothing… I’m late to meet my girlfriend…
GIRL. You’re fast.
BOY. I’ve told I don’t stay alone too long.
GIRL. It’s fun for you.
BOY. You should try it too.
GIRL. However much I try, I want to love.
BOY. Why do you even use that word?
GIRL. What word?
GIRL. Why not?
BOY. I have to go.
GIRL. No reply? Ok. Go.
BOY. You do realize you’re still in school, right? I can’t do anything with you. You’re in school. You have to grow up, you understand? Then a man will come who will be able to take you. Understand that.
He leaves. She follows.
Two female friends are on the stage.
FRIEND I. Hey, listen, I’ve told you that what he has done to Ben is a curse. I’m telling you. Such a betrayal! To fuck another bitch! After such long relationship… They’ve been everywhere and now…
FRIEND II. Well, well. You’re just drunk.
FRIEND I. Well, sorry but I find it incredible.
FRIEND II. Why are you suffering so much? What’s in it for you?
FRIEND I. But he’s close to me. How can I not care?
FRIEND II. You have no right to interfere in other person’s choices.
FRIEND I. And what if I love him?
GIRL. I follow him. I follow him like I have used to imagine myself following him. I follow him and hide behind his back. Sadly, I follow his coat’s hem as a stalker, not as a part of him. I clearly understand it is unacceptable. But it is right. I have to follow him exactly now so I would see that his life bores me. Won't it last too long? Will it ever end? Can he ever be boring to me?
Boy and Stranger come in.
GIRL. Here. I see him in the streets with the other… She… She dresses like me. A strange coincidence! She. She laughs like me, head up, arms so relaxed they dangle in the air. She leans back like an uncle, hugs herself, curls up… She’s still laughing. That bastard keeps making her laugh… No, he’s beautiful… He took her by her arm as he used to do to me. He probably brought her to his rooms, poured rice into her hair and made all the rituals of his long slow kisses. He used to make up so many… First he kisses the neck, sucking the life with his lips. Then he travels down the back and leaves traces of wet kisses. To the feet.
Just one problem. Sometimes I wonder, where to put it? Where to put all these memories? Where to put memories which are meant just for him?
(Disappointed, ironical, teasing, angry) Ah…! Our worlds are crossing even when they separate. He is going where I’m going. And vice versa. And I always see him. Now he’s going everywhere with his new girl. That’s the life in such small towns – you can't avoid meeting people you don't want to see.
Bar. Music. Bar sounds. She sits on a bar stool, turning around and watching people.
GIRL. The most funny thing is that I keep looking for him. I follow him. I go only to the places where I expect to see him. Of course, he will come with that new one. She’s so lucky! Close to him, day and night.
He comes in with Stranger. They notice each other. For a few seconds they look each other in the eyes.
He remembers Stranger standing next to him.
BOY. Yes… Let me introduce you. This is my friend.
STRANGER. (giving a hand to Her) A good friend of… of his. And you must be his old friend, right? The one who left all her clothes in our apartment. Ha ha!
GIRL. I must be the one.
STRANGER. So how are you? I’ve heard, you’re in senior year… Condolences. You’ll see, you’ll grow up and all will change. You’ll have vacations… You’ll be free and will find yourself a guy like this (she punches Him) We, of course, are just friends. He doesn't like to commit, keeps running away, says he will find his true love…
GIRL. You seem very close…
BOY. What the hell are you talking about?
Silence. Loud music.
STRANGER. So what are you doing here alone on Wednesday night? You don't have to be in school tomorrow?
GIRL. I have to. I just like to walk around, to sit in places…
STRANGER. I see… But you know, it’s good that you stayed at our place. I saw right away that you didn't let this one to grow sloven. (she rubs His head) Thank you for keeping the place tidy. Super. Only you could pick your stuff. But all is good.
GIRL. You’re welcome.
STRANGER. (to Him) Why are you standing here and listening? Go buy something. (to Her) What do you drink? Wine?
(She wants to answer but Stranger interrupts) Ah, right. School night. You won’t drink, right? We have to keep an eye on you seniors. There were many imbecils in my years. Drank too much, killed themselves, didn't graduate… Ah… Doesn’t matter. (To Him) Well?
BOY. So what to bring?
STRANGER. (softly brushes His face with her hand) Today I’m in for something interesting. Maybe, Sex on the beach?
Silence. Loud music echoes.
GIRL. So how old are you?
STRANGER. Twenty two, as he. Why?
GIRL. Nothing. Have you been together long?
STRANGER. I told you he doesn’t commit. We’re not together. We never defined what we are. Ah, it happens. Sometimes he brings me along everywhere, we have fun together. And sometimes we stay apart for a long time. Hell with it. Yesterday we had such a ride…
GIRL. Yeah, he drives well.
STRANGER. He took you for a ride too?
GIRL. So, it started so quickly? In a week?
STRANGER. A week? What are you talking about? It started one day. A long time ago… Whatever. By the way, you look good. You see, I like to dress like this, too.
GIRL. That’s a strange coincidence…
STRANGER. Yeah, strange. It’s a nice dress. He, by the way, likes them like that. Sometimes even tells me to dress like this. You see, he gets excited by the girls who dresses like that now.
GIRL. I didn’t know…
STRANGER. There are many things you don't know about him. Nobody does. I’d tell you…
He comes back with the drinks. Stranger happily smiles.
BOY. (giving a glass to the Stranger) Sex on the beach.
STRANGER. (taking the drink) Finally.
She drinks almost everything at once and kisses Boy. It is hard for Girl to watch them. She grabs Boy’s hand and pulls him towards herself.
Girl stands silent. Stranger puts her arms around Him.
STRANGER. Let's leave, let’s go. She can take the drinks. You see she’s strange. Let her drink, maybe she’ll cheer up.
BOY. (to Stranger) You go, I’ll be out in a second.
Stranger doubts but leaves without saying a word.
There is just the Stranger. She talks to the audience.
STRANGER. Someone, kiss me now. I need love. Come on, kiss me now. Or maybe you would kiss someone else you have caught an eye of? You can do that. Anyway you’ll forget that by the time you will leave. You are drunk. Ah, you say that kisses are expression of love? Is kissing love? It used to be the most intimate expression of love, right? Is it still like this? Stop fucking around, it isn’t… Kiss me someone, huh? Someone, hey? No one? What, am I not beautiful enough? Not sexy? A question. How many of you have looked at me? Raise your hands. Come on, like in school. No one will dare? You would do that in a bar, right? But it is a bar here… For sure you have kissed someone while drunk, right? Just don't tell me you haven’t had a one night stand and didn't talk to that person the next morning? How many times have you had sex with strangers? Not even once? Kiss, kiss, kiss people.
She goes to a person she chooses and kisses him/her.
Boy and Girl stand on the stage at the same Bar.
BOY. You do understand that it’s over, right?
GIRL. Who is she?
BOY. My girlfriend.
GIRL. For long?
BOY. Since I started studies.
GIRL. Where was she on vacation?
BOY. Travelled… What's the difference?
GIRL. And I?
BOY. Well, you were and still are my friend.
GIRL. And you and me in bed?
BOY. You need to graduate school.
GIRL. And what then?
BOY. I don't know.
GIRL. Can I come back to you after I graduate?
BOY. I told you, it’s over. And you told me you understand that.
GIRL. What is over if I’m your friend? Have been and still am?
BOY. Well that… Why you’re asking, huh? I don’t want to talk about it. Stop your bullshit, okay?
GIRL. What bullshit?
BOY. Go fuck yourself.
A telephone chat.
GIRL. Hello. Hi!
BOY. Hi… What do you want?
GIRL. What do you mean? To say hello…
GIRL. To ask how are you.
BOY. Okay. (pause) How are you?
GIRL. Ah, normal. Studying.
BOY. Good that you’re studying.
GIRL. Uh-huh… Good.
BOY. Listen, I don't have time to talk, you know. Maybe some other time?
GIRL. Okay. Bye.
Lamp turns on on the stage. Stranger and Boy are standing next to it.
STRANGER. Who called?
BOY. As usual.
STRANGER. Don't answer her anymore.
BOY. Uh -huh.
Stranger wants to talk but Boy turns off the light.
Friend II and Lad II stand on the stage, hugging.
LAD II. Baby, baby, I adore you…
FRIEND II. More than I love you?
LAD II. Totally more.
FRIEND II. Yeah?
LAD II. Yeah.
FRIEND II. So kiss me.
LAD II. Yeah?
FRIEND II. Go for it.
He grabs her by the neck and back. For a few minutes they are passionately kissing. Friend II steps back.
FRIEND II. Thank you.
LAD II. What for?
FRIEND II. For the last time you kissed me.
LAD II. What do you mean?
FRIEND II. Literally what I said.
LAD II. Baby, what’s going on?
FRIEND II. I decided that I don't need all that. Hey, you are stalking me in my own head, you get it? Do you remember last vacation? How I wanted to visit you and go somewhere together. I told you I have money, that I can go anywhere with you.
LAD II. And so?
FRIEND II. So you, babe, appearing once in a month in my life and lighting it with blurry hopes of bright future, you would make me believe that we are deeply in love. Maybe that’s just my luck? Others don’t get that? Such a beauty in my bed…
LAD II. I don't get what you want to say.
FRIEND II. Why then you, after I told you I can go somewhere on vacation, you said that you are going to study for exams but then went to Easter islands with your friends without me?
Boy and Girl bumps into each other on stage.
For a few seconds they just look at each other in silence, then turn from each other.
GIRL. Such a sunny day…
BOY. Yeah, it’s spring already… And you’ve changed… How are you? Long time no see.
GIRL. Been a while. I’m good. I’m working.
BOY. Wow, where?
GIRL. In theatre.
BOY. You never told you were interested in theatre.
GIRL. You never asked.
BOY. Why you started working?
GIRL. Aren’t you in a hurry?
BOY. No, I’m free today. We can talk.
GIRL. Let it be. What were you asking?
GIRL. Ah, right. I needed money. For rent. Parents said I could be working. So I did.
BOY. Good for you.
GIRL. You know, there are so many people there who I’d like to listen to…. I’d like you to work there too.
GIRL. A janitor, for example. There’s an old one and no one knows how old is he and no one asks… He’s sitting there all day, from dawn till dusk. Once he came to me, looked me in the eyes and started talking.
GIRL. You see, there is one director in theatre. Beautiful, tall, thin, with rich voice… I would like to be like her so I even started dressing like her. And I started smoking so I could talk to them on smoke breaks… So. I told him about this crush. He was silent for a long time and then he spoke. He told that in Antique theatre there were tragedy and comedy. It excited people. People used to be naturally crying and laughing. And now, there, upstairs, it’s total bullshit and you can’t even understand what is what… Bullshit director is making just for himself and then is surprised that someone else like it and people come to see it. Janitor, you know, he doesn’t watch performances, doesn’t read the books, doesn’t own a TV anymore…
BOY. I don’t know…
GIRL. That’s not the point…. Point is what he has told me then. (Talks in janitor’s voice) You know, kid, I was thinking, why did God put us here on Earth… the more I was thinking, the more I didn’t understand. But one day I knew. He is kicking and kicking us here so we finally understand, you see? If you didn’t understand, he says go back to earth and get it. The purpose of human being is to reach for basics. Its deepest deep - Adam and reach for that nakedness Adam had before he tried the fruit. The same for women. They have to reach for basics of Eve.
BOY. That’s it?
BOY. So why did you tell me this?
GIRL. I don’t know. Sometimes we tell things others don’t need but how can we decide it for them?
BOY. I think he’s wrong. If he is right, then there is no end. Because Eve would want that fruit again and it would never end… (a little more of silence) And you know… It’s good you’re working. You’ll work and then you’ll can to go on vacation as I do - freelance cinema creator yo yo yo…And you know what? Eventually you will see that you must not to give a shit about anything in this world. What the fuck, it’s not romance of XIX century.
Lad I stands on the stage. Lad II lies on the floor and smokes.
LAD I. My manifesto! “Lad, it’s not XIX century. No one gives a shit.” I hear these words which cross my chest like with a thousand red hot spits. Maybe all these shashliks we cooked and ate actually were never eaten and we left them for wild animals? Slowly, but vegetarian population is growing.
It’s all over, lad. Romance is over, love is disappearing and XXI century comes to the spotlight, where people live in fear of not being able to go to another country or find a haven in other people’s arms.
Morals, as I’ve been told, is chosen. Nowadays we can manipulate it as we please. We can even throw out a person and forget the face who’s been next to us for more than a few years, the instant we close the door. We can follow each other in the wilderness of internet and blackmail, every person we have met if it is useful for our moral choices. And we can be pests in other person’s head. We freely give ourselves the right to forget the world and don’t give a shit about anything around.
Incredibly lot. Humbly. Humbly we bow to the Earth which meets the man in a state like this.
To know that death is waiting is one of the hardest challenges I fear the most so I drink a pill to strengthen my immunity, once in a while, so it wouldn’t hurt so much on these challenges. The good new is that it is possible to drop everything else, I hope. Human has ears and moth so he could be in community with others.
(I’m so afraid that I’m just talking nonsense… It must be an unavoidable trial, to always doubt everything.)
Ah, I’m alive and kicking… Love gives muscles to my legs. I can kick as much as I want and as I need to when I’m loving. Life is too short not to be kicking. Although Lithuanian should prefer basketball, I prefer to kick the ball. Huge balls of love. Love is counted in balls, how many times you scored the goal, that many you will love or something like that. Maybe I have no competence to talk about love because I’m still single and I’m not going for any kind of romantic relations. Of course, family and friends encourage me to kick. But during the announcement of the verdict “You won’t give a shit” I stop and can’t move. Spits, arrows and needles are cutting my body but out of all things, pain is the one human mind is trying to reject and lessen it. But how to do it in the world where the word love is a cliché and an insult? “What you gonna do...?” it’s asked in one song.
What am I going to do after realizing that almost ninety percent of all I’ve cried for I don’t remember anymore. What am I going to do after I realize that I haven’t learned to show all the love I have inside me? What am I going to do after I realize that what I’m thinking now and say here in year might seem just a balderdash? How can I stop myself as I am now and remember without a fear for such changing, different “I”?
It seems, questions need to be asked. I envy those who are able to question the most simple things time and again. It might seem as if it is a bad and absolutely unnecessary habit. But I’ve learned to re-ask the questions which I have answered long time ago or which have been answered by others. Almost every day questions are changing. Sadly, there is no time to question, I need to be kicking.
Yeah, I play football and after the training me and my friends go for a smoke.
I try to love without questions. But sometimes I ruin everything with questions. So I look for answers in songs. How many songs people have made! Maybe every person has a song for them? I’m still looking for mine but I see meaning in lot of them, that I’m falling on the cold floor and watch the ceiling which I’d like to fill with quotes from songs.
And I cannot feel any sadness if friends don’t visit me. Oh well. I can’t not to give a shit, Not to kick as much as breathe or drink water. I can breathe easily only when I’ll know that my humble challenges are helping others and they help me. With my open heart I tell you that I love and I’m not able not to.
He gets a football and kicks it. He runs into the darkness.
Lad II smokes and blows the smokes up.
LAD II. Fuck...
Ringing tone. Girl answers.
BOY. Hello. Hi.
BOY. Can I come over?
GIRL. I don’t mind.
BOY. Okay. I’ll be there. Ten? You won’t be asleep?
GIRL. I’ll be waiting.
BOY. Be ready. Bye.
Phone beeps. End of conversation.
Girl is getting ready.
GIRL. “Be ready”, he said. To be ready! (She looks around) I need a dress. No. Grey shirt and long black skirt. He will like it. Buttons of the shirt undone. Lipstick. I need to be quicker… He wants to be with me! Again he comes to me, faster, soon, at ten, he will be here and we will be together… Maybe we even will spend all weekend together… First we will make love. Here, on the floor. He will hold me. For long. Will he take me to the sea then? We have whole weekend. Maybe he has plane tickets somewhere? For a vacation. Somewhere, to Berlin…
Darkness. Sound of doors opening and closing.
He stands in front of her. They are silent for quite a long time. Girl lies down and puts back her hair, highlighting her figure. Silence.
GIRL. Let’s make love?
He is silent. She looks at him with a question in her eyes. She shies away, crawls and hides her open parts of body.
BOY. You have to stop calling me.
GIRL. Are you sure?
BOY. I’m sure.
BOY. (Getting a necklace from a pocket and giving to her) To be honest, I just brought you something… Here, for you. My last love gave it to me. I decided to give it to someone else. You can wear it on your neck. Then to give to someone else.
She smells it, takes a close look and put it on.
GIRL. Is it?..
BOY. A small fife.
GIRL. So fun. It’s gonna look good by the cross. Does it work?
BOY. No. It hasn’t been working for a long time.
Silence again. She looks at him, he - somewhere up. Awkward feeling.
BOY. I have to go.
GIRL. So it ends so quickly?
BOY. Did you expect anything? You really expected something!
GIRL. Let’s make love tonight. While we can.
GIRL. But we have one more chance… Don’t go, please.
She attacks him with kisses. He stands still.
BOY. You furnished the apartment nicely.
GIRL. You could live here, too. You wouldn’t be afraid to show me to someone because there would be only us two.
BOY. There are no chance for that.
GIRL. Well, it seems there always some left.
BOY. I told you from the day one - it will end.
GIRL. But now you are here.
BOY. I have to go.
GIRL. Now you’re here and you’re not moving.
BOY (leaving) Bye.
GIRL. Everything always ends like this?
BOY (stopped) What?
GIRL. I’m asking you, answer me. Does it always have to end like this? I don’t understand a thing so please tell me.
BOY. Maybe. I don’t know. You’ll see for yourself.
GIRL. You will call me!
We hear noises, like radio search, then music.
Boy stands in front of her.
GIRL. You’re back.
BOY. Do you want to come together?
BOY. To end our journey.
GIRL. What should I wear?
BOY. Stay like this. You look very beautiful.
They are driving in the car. Music plays loudly, she tries to shout over it.
GIRL. I remember our journey! Dust of thousand roads is falling on us! He pushes the speed pedal! Me and my silent thoughts are being pushed to the ground by the smell of coming autumn! Promises! It will not end soon! All our travels together! We go around Lithuania. He talks about the future! Dusts! The road continues! Dust of thousand roads on us and I’m so covered in dust I don’t remember how to get up!.. And him!.. Pushing the speed pedal!.. And filling my eyes with dreams! And my ears are full of whispers of golden promises! My mouth is touched by his lips! He gives his smell to my nostrils!
Turn on the lights. It is dark. But he is not afraid. Not of gravel roads, not of holes in it. We are covered in dust.
Music is so loud we can barely hear Girl’s shouting.
GIRL. Can you hear me?!
He doesn’t reply.
GIRL. Can you hear me? I want you! I love you!
He turns the volume up.
GIRL. Can you hear me? I’m asking you! I love you! Turn off the music! Does it always end like this? I don’t care! Can you hear? I don’t give a shit, now I understand what you have said… Now I, too, don’t give a shit but I still love you! Please, turn off the music! It is almost dark. Turn on the lights! Far lights! Tom!!! Turn on the lights!
Screech of the breaks.