#1_Best_friends_
What will you take?
I don’t know, burger probably. You?
Also a burger.
With what?
With pork.
Damn, we could go to “Porky”.
But you don’t eat meat.
Don’t they have anything without meat?
No. Just pork.
So lame.
Will you have beer?
Don’t know, maybe. You?
Don’t know. Maybe let’s have some?
Well, okay.
Okay.
And then you’re going home?
Don’t know yet. What are you doing then?
I think I’ll meet Monika.
M. How is it going for you two?
All right, why?
Good. No, nothing.
Silence.
You know what, I’ve decided to stop drinking.
You just suggested to have beers.
I’m talking about May.
For how long?
A few months, maybe.
Like, you will be sober in summer?
Yeah.
When parks will be open?
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe it’s bullshit.
Of course it’s bullshit.
But I feel need for some changes, you know.
So start jogging.
I’d like to. But I don’t have shoes.
You don’t have sneakers?
Well, I have just simple ones.
So that’s it.
It is not healthy to jog in converses. It has to have air pillows and natural materials. You can ruin feet otherwise. And spine.
You’re just too lazy.
I’m not. If I had money, I would buy the shoes and I would jog. Actually, I really would love to.
You can jog in simple ones.
Do you jog in running shoes?
Well, yeah, but…
Well that’s that.
#2_Mother_and_daughter_
Is it good?
Uh-huh. Yours?
Not bad.
You’re not in the mood today.
I’m in the mood.
Algis called me and said that next week he’ll be able to help you with papers.
Well, I don’t know.
You don’t know what?
Silence.
What is it?
Nothing.
I was thinking that you could use new luggage because that one may break. And maybe to look for some new shoes for you, these are only good for throwing out. We can go to “Akropolis”.
I don’t wanna go there anymore.
Why? Then at least to “Panorama”. You really need new shoes. There it will be really expensive. Here it’s at least a little bit cheaper.
I don’t want to go to London anymore.
How come?
Simple. I don’t want to anymore.
What happened?
Just. I don’t want to anymore. .
Why? What came onto you?
I don’t know. It has come and that’s it. I don’t want to go anymore.
You can't just "not want to go there anyore".
Why not?
Because people don't do that. Money has been transferred. Did something happen?
happened. I just have been waiting until I will know I want to go there but that desire has never come to me.
Wait, you'll see, you'll make new friends, it will look different for you.
I don't want to make new friends. I don't want to go.
You can't just not go now.
Why not? I sure can. I just won't go.
I really don't understand what you think you are allowing yourself to be doing.
At this moment I am allowing myself to talk about feelings, mom.
Your father is working day and night to pay for your studies and you just…
Don't.
Silence.
If you don't want Algis to rush you, okay. There still is some time, we will fill out the papers next week.
MOM. I don't want to go there anymore. Neither to study nor to live.
Well. And what are you going to do? You'll be hotel receptionist?
I don't want to talk to you anymore.
#3_Insurance_agent_and_Martin
How much, more or less, are you spending on food in a month?
For eating in or in town?
For eating in.
Well… I spend around 250 euros a month in a grocery shop. But everyday I'm having lunch in town.
Then let's add lunch money to entertainment segment.
I don't really think lunch deal is entertainment but okay.
Do you drive?
I do.
How much do you spend on a car?
It varies.
But more or less.
I don't know, I don't have to pay insurance every month.
Just add up.
I can't just "add up".
Okay, I'll ask differently. How much you think you would save if you wouldn't drive a car?
I don't know, maybe around 200 a month. Maybe 150.
So let's make it 180. Okay… Entertainment.
What is included there? Bars?
Restaurants, cinema, theatre, shows.
And gym is also entertainment?
Yes.
Then maybe also around two.
Mhm. Apartment?
230.
Loans?
None.
Okay. So over all you spend one thousand one hundred fifty euros a month. That means, 13.800 euros a year.
Wow. (pause) I don't make that much in a year.
Yes, like all of us, we spend more than we make.
Well, no.
But you yourself just witnessed…
I witnessed bullshit. I don't spend that much then. If I don't make it, then I don't spend it. Maybe we should have added differently. To ask how much I make and then divide in twelve months, right?
Well, yes, but you said you are freelancer. It is hard to count how much you make.
Anyway, what does it tell us? Let's go straight to the point, I only have twenty minutes.
Yes. If we're going there, first I'd like you to note what is the most important thing you want to insure - health, like, diseases, accidents, to insure inability to work, to insure your life or to save for children studies and save for your pension.
It is too early to think about pension, so not that…
You know, people abroad start saving for pension in your age.
I can't be saving for pension when I have to think how to survive today. And children studies we can drop.
Why children studies also not?
Because I don't have any children. (reads and marks further) And life is not that important… I wouldn't get that money anyway.
Well, but what about your relatives?
They'll survive it. I wouldn't like them to be happy that I died after they get the money.
#4_Best_friends_2
You see that girl at the window?
Yeah.
Joris is head over heels for her.
She's not that bad…
She's going somewhere so there’s no point, you know.
How's your burger?
Not bad. Yours?
I don't feel any taste. I have a cold. But not bad.
So why did you take burger then?
Why I shouldn't have?
If you don't feel the taste, so, I don't know, you could've had something cheaper.
It's burger place.
But maybe they have something else.
I wanted a burger.
Even though you don't feel the taste.
I feel the texture.
Texture of the burger.
Yeah.
Maybe you can describe it?
Like you don't feel it.
Not really.
I wanted a burger, that's it.
“Texture of a burger”.
Stop fucking around.
Okay. Don't get pissed.
You're pissing me off.
Sorry.
You always do that.
Okay, okay, I'm just joking. Why are you so nervous? I don't understand.
What's the difference.
Silence.
So you're mad at me now?
Silence.
No. (pause) Monika called me yesterday at night.
Why? What did she say?
Silence.
I didn't pick up.
Why? Maybe she needed something.
Maybe she did.
So you could pick up.
Did she call you yesterday at night?
No.
So there.
So there what?
There's why I didn't pick up.
Because she didn't call me? Maybe she needed something from you?
Maybe.
Silence.
Are you trying to say that there's something going on between you two?
Silence.
Fuck, dude. Shit. So you're like?..
Nothing happened.
And what did happen?!
Nothing happened, she just called me.
Just called you.
And before that.
What before that?
She called. And before before that she called.
Did you pick up then?
She wanted to meet.
But you didn't?
We did.
#5_Date
Have you been living in Vilnius for long?
Seven years now.
That's a lot.
A lot. I see myself as a local in Vilnius, almost. And you?
I'm here since I started studies. So… How many is it. Well, seven years, too. Nice.
Mhm. We’re almost Vilnius locals. What neighborhood do you live in now?
In Fabai.
Mhm.
You?
Karoliniškės, but I'm moving now.
Where to?
Closer to downtown. To Antakalnis.
So you're one of these "downtown girls", right?
“Downtown girls”?
Like, closer to the parties and all.
I don't like parties much, to be honest.
So you don't party?
Well, sometimes.
Where you go to then?
Don't know, I don't have a favorite spot.
Silence.
You're on tinder for long?
Not really, a week or so. You?
Two years. In and out, you know.
Wow.
Yeah, a lot. Somehow, something is always not right. There were two more serious ones. But one went to live in Spain and another was a bit complicated. She commited suicide.
She killed herself?
Yeah. Well, we weren't that close. Of course, I was very sad. I found her when I came to see her.
You're serious?
Yeah. Ah, let's change the subject.
Yeah, let's. But somehow…
But maybe I've met my the one. You never know, right?
Uh-huh. You never know.
Yeah.
Silence.
What do you like to do besides parties?
To read.
Seriously?
Yep. I know, it's old school, but it's my fetish in a way. I read everything, from classics to Bukowski.
Nice... Doesn't seem like…
Doesn't seem like I read?
No, I mean, it's not what I was trying to say.
Uh-huh, I know, I know. Do you read?
Less than I'd like to, to be honest.
What was the last book you read?
Err...
“Woman” magazine?
Laughs.
No. But probably last books I've read were for my studies. So that was science texbooks.
What was your BA?
Sociology.
Oh, interesting. I graduated psychology.
Seriously?
Why?
No, nothing, just…
I don't look like I could graduate something else except technology college?
No, no, stop it. Why are you underestimating me so much?
I'm joking. I like to provoke a little, you know.
So you didn't graduate psychology?
No. I graduated mechanics in college.
Ah.
I'm joking. Vilnius university, psychology BA. My thesis was about adaptive consciousness of orphans.
Wow.
Yeah. Sounds serious, right?
Serious. Why did you choose this subject?
Because I grew up in an orphanage. My parents are alcoholics.
Oh. I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
It, well, must have been hard for you. So many things happened in your life…
You get used to it.
Waitress brings burgers to them. Puts them on the table.
Thank you.
Would you like anything else?
No, thank you.
Thank you, no.
Waitress leaves.
Damn. It's so strange.
What? Something wrong with the burgers?
No, well, that there are niggers here.
I think she's Lithuanian.
Well yeah, but still a negro.
Mulatto.
Well, dilluted a little but still a negro.
Can you not use that word out loud?
What word?
This.
Negro?
Yes. Can you not be so loud?
Why?
Well, because it's impolite.
Why? They are negroes.
Please, can you not use this word so loud, okay?
What the fuck? So no one can call me white then, too?
You can say black.
But she's a mulatto.
Anyway.
Silence.
My father has told me that they can't be trusted…
You said you're an orphan.
Well, yeah, but…
Let's just eat and be on our ways.
What do you mean? You're not going to cinema?
Silence.
You wanted to see that film so much.
I think it's not going to work out between us.
Okay. What happened to you so suddenly?
I don't really want to spend time with a racist.
What does that have to do with us?
Silence.
So I'm a racist?
Silence.
Because I said that it's strange that negroes are working in our country?
She bangs fork against the plate, stops eating. She stands up.
I'm done. Thank you for the meeting.
So you're leaving?
The girl leaves.
#6_Insurance_agent_and_Martynas_2
You know, to be honest, I'm not so sure I am ready to invest in that.
Yes, thank you for your honesty, but I would suggest not to rush so much. For example, I had a client who was saying same things. Just like you. He said 'Let's wait, no need to hurry, I don't want to invest, I have a lot of expenses’ - he was planning wedding then. How old was he, twenty nine, almost like you. And what, they found a late stage rare form of cancer in him. You can never know.
How did it end for him?
He called and asked to be insured but it was too late, he had to think earlier. Another man insured himself and they found a tumor in his head within a year and we paid 21 thousands euros for him recently.
In other words, man made money out of his disease.
I wouldn't like to say it like that but you can put it this way, too.
So, really, you insure yourself and wait until you break your arm, get into a car crash or get cancer.
That's the thing. I mean, you can be calm. You insure yourself and there are no worries left. One more man, a young one, with two children, was changing a bulb and fell down. Spine trauma, won't walk anymore. He was insured for 30 thousands and got the money. Not bad, right? I don't say it is going to be the same for you, but can you name a person who would take care of you for the rest of your life if something happened to you?
Silence.
No one wants to be a burden for other people. That's why we are here. To help you to feel safe. I say to my clients, don't think about it, but have it in mind. We sign the deal and done, you can be calm, no need to think about it anymore. But you never know when you will get into a car crash. I myself have insured my life and all my children have been insured from diseases and accidents.
“From”. Like you insured them and it will not happen.
Of course, you can't plan life. You never know.
You never know.
Silence.
So why don't you insure their lives? Don't you want to get a payoff if someone will be hit by a truck on the way from school?
No, we just put that that way. And today it is not about me.
No, it’s not about you. Only a fat truck driver, who eats a panini sandwich he picked up at a gas station, with beef and mustard, and who can drive over your daughter’s small crackling body. On her way back home from school. Because fuck, you never know.
Silence.
Maybe then you’d like to get like twenty thousands, huh? For the moral damage.
#7_Mother_and_daughter_2
Me and Algis even have bought the tickets to visit you.
So you can go there. There are many things to see besides me.
Egle, what should I do so you change your mind?
Nothing. Mom, just accept it for what it is.
Isn't it fear talking?
No.
You'll be far from home, this will be your first step on your own, you'll be far from your family and friends…
Silence.
I know that you get attached to places. Do you remember when we moved when you were in first grade and you kept asking to drive by our old apartment in Žvėrynas so you can see who lives there now?
Silence.
I was interested.
Or when we sold the garden house and you still wanted to spend summers at the homesteads near it.
Silence.
Sometimes I secretly went to look at it.
We can go there together before you leave.
Silence.
I’m scared. I’m afraid I won’t fit it, just that.
#8_Best_friends_3_
Are you angry?
I am angry.
Silence.
I have nothing to do with that.
You always have nothing to do with anything.
Silence.
You always just get everything.
You’re talking bullshit.
You got copywriter’s job, got that awesome project which I wanted to get, too, you found that cheap and cool loft apartment to rent, you bought a car.
What the car has to do with it?
Well. You bought a car when others CAN'T EVEN pass the driver's exam for the fourth time. You stopped eating meat, you jog when I can't even stretch in the morning even though I've been told by the doctor to do so and you also hook up with Monika. You're just awesome.
Your apartment also is in a nice place.
For a double price than you pay. And no dishwasher.
But you have a balcony.
You have a terrace.
You have a dog.
Who shits at home.
You have amazing bike.
You plan to buy one, too.
You can make a chilli curry.
You don't eat meat anyways.
You...
God, even my best friend is YOU. You have everything.
Well, sorry.
Fuck.
Nothing's going to happen between us.
That's not the point, the point is, however, everything is already fucked.
I feel you.
Don't.
#9_A_guest_with_a_baseball_cap
The door of the burger place opens. A middle aged dark faced man enters. He is wearing black shirt, a baseball cap, a light green jacket. He has a machine gun in his hands.
The clients of the burger place all look at the door. The panic spreads. Everyone starts shouting, hiding under the tables, covering their heads with chairs. Food is falling on the floor, mustard and ketchup spreads on the floor, scrubbed that morning to meet all the hygienic norms. Potato wedges, covered in sunflower oil, slide to the stranger.
The waitress comes from behind the bar with a tray in her hands with two burgers on it. Only now does she notice the intruder. The silver imitating tray falls from her hands, crashes into her knees and smears the apron with mustard. She falls down on her smeared knees and cries with her hands put for a prayer.
Bullets will get twenty four people.
A bullet will get the insurance lady and for that her three children should get ninety thousands, thirty thousands euros each and her husband should get fifteen extra. But he won’t because according to article 13.1.2 it is not an insured event. Quote: “When the death of the insured person is directly or indirectly connected to war actions (independently on announcement of the war), civil war, military coup, rebelion, military invasion, military or occupational actions, military ammunition usage, war or emergency situation announcement, mass disturbance, riots, effects of nuclear energy, effects of radioactive radiation - it is not an insured event.
The bullet will get the friend who is lucky at everything. And even at his funeral his best friend will mourn him but also will feel a secret desire to be in his place because for him Monika will be suffering for him and only about him she will talk for all these six months they are going to be together.
The bullet will get girl’s who doesn’t want to go to London mother and a few years later she will establish a support centre in London for people who have been victims of terrorist attacks. She will stay in London until she is sixty and then she’ll go back to Lithuania.
The bullet will be aimed at the waitress who will be instinctively shielded by the Tinder date guy from Fabai because she will kneel next to his table. It will charm the Tinder date girl but the Tinder date guy will die and the waitress will survive and write a memoir book “I survived”.
Bullets will get twenty three more people who are in this room. Ten will be wounded, seven will die on the spot, six - in reanimation.
“Not a good day,” Juozas, who was walking by at the time of the shooting, will say.
“You never know,” Ona, who has been standing in the other side of the street and haven’t had any idea what is going on at the burger place, will say.
“It’s their own fault,” internet commentators will say.
“We said that this will happen if we let them in,” VandaGie will say.
“We don’t need no japs or muslims,” beaver21 will say.
“We should have expeted that,” X_dragon_11 will say.
“I had to emigrate a long time ago. It was the last drop. I'm leaving,” Stasė_54 will say.
“Lithuania for Lithuanians,” Andrzej_35 will say.
“No need to eat those burgers,” Sister256 will say.
But the man with a baseball cap and a kalashnikov will calmy sit at one of the tables and will order a burger with chickpeas because he’s been a vegetarian for five years. Man’s kalashnikov will turn out to be a tennis racket which just for a mere second will be seen by the girl who is going to go to London and will make her panic. She will share it with her mother. Best friends will hear their conversation and they accidentally will draw insurance lady’s, and eventually everyone else’s, attention to the dark faced man, who is
trying
to eat
his
damned
chickpeas burger
and who came to Vilnius for the first time.
You never know, policemen will tell him after going through his racket bag.
You never know, hotel receptionist will tell him after checking his passport once again.
You never know because you can never know.
