Characters:
MIND
Person, dressed in clothes, expressing intelligence
HEART
Person, dressed in clothes, expressing love
SOUL
Person, dressed in clothes, expressing freedom
BODY
Person, dressed in clothes, expressing realism
Conversation
The four stand and look at the dead body.
BODY
I hate these feelings so much, you know, when it just piles up in your head and don't burst.
HEART
That's natural, you're not a cyborg.
BODY
So what? Since when do I have it? That's your business.
SOUL A
I feel pretty good.
SOUL B
So you’re looking at dead body makes you feel good?
SOUL A
No, just overall.
MIND
Of course, people die every day.
HEART
But not like this.
MIND
They die in many ways. You name it.
HEART
Please don't start…
MIND
If you don’t want to admit it – don’t. But that's purely natural. Everything exists just because of the necessity to exist. People die, kill and live also just because of that.
BODY
But what are we going to do now? Huh?
SOUL B
I think...
SOUL A
We should have a drink.
MIND
Well, one way or the other, congratulations. We did what we wanted to do.
BODY
Now as I think about it – “4 in 1” coffee isn’t such a bad idea.
MIND
Calm down. It's all over.
HEART
I never agreed to this plan.
SOUL A
Just yesterday you were thinking differently…
SOUL B
…and talking differently.
MIND
Yesterday you were so happy, you enjoyed every single moment so now it is too late to be sorry. Remember when those two Russians and two French girls, charmed by the streets and boutiques' windows came to the bar next door. Just for one shot, they said. But no one comes to a bar just for one shot. Bartender never lets you leave too sober or too drunk. Bartender will know your level of drunkness and what to pour. And when those two Russians met two French girls, you immediately brightened up and wanted to join them, and this time - to make it to the end.
HEART
But he, poor guy, he didn’t know any of that.
MIND
They were talking about rebelion, about equal rights, about how women should also make the first step, but should never refuse when a man wants to buy them an expensive bottle of wine. And he also didn’t refuse that wine.
BODY
And he liked them, too. He just wanted to be with them, he felt so lonely, tormented by those damned thoughts.
HEART
They only wanted to merge it all into one cheesecake.
MIND
As I see, you would like to do the same with us. Only we are not those Russian guys or French girls. We are not connected by anything anymore. What used to unite us, died.
SOUL B
It’s nice that he died young. He tasted the alcohol for the first time, he ran away from home and he did have his first kiss.
SOUL A
With two girls at the same time, by the way.
SOUL B
The world always was like a mirage for him.
SOUL A
It was good idea for him to die.
HEART
You’re talking as if you don’t have a heart.
MIND
And they don’t.
SOUL B
But he had one. And he had a great night.
SOUL A
It wasn’t a bad day for us, too.
SOUL B
So much laughter and first times.
MIND
I don’t know how can you like those first times. Most of them are truly disgusting and so fragile.
SOUL A
Don’t lie, first time is always pleasant. Even for you.
MIND
Do you want me to prove you wrong?
SOUL A
Okay.
BODY
Do that.
SOUL B
C’mon, let’s not go there…
MIND
Let’s.
SOUL B
What do you want from me?
MIND
Theoretically or practically?
SOUL A
Does it matter?
MIND
It does. Cause if something is “theoretical” - you like or even love it. But if it becomes “practical”, you always disappear and leave us with no explanation. It’s because you don’t like anymore. It’s because you like to like and love to love. But just from the distance, cos actually, you want to be alone.
SOUL B
I do want that.
SOUL A
Not really.
HEART
You want to be, but not to feel. You simulate responsibility, get attached for a short time and then let go. You just mock people.
MIND
If you want to be alone so much, just go. You’re free now. We all are free.
SOUL A
So I’ll be going. And what about you guys? You will keep on standing here?
SOUL B
They are admiring the irony.
BODY
I’ll be so angry if nobody’s going to explain me what’s going on!
MIND
Now you are free to do anything you want to.
BODY
That’s not what I was asking. What’s our plan now?
HEART
Really, what are we going to do?
MIND
Nothing. You can go.
SOUL A
So I’ll be going then…
MIND
Go.
SOUL A
I’m going.
SOUL B
I can’t.
SOUL A
Let’s go.
SOUL B
Okay okay, let’s.
HEART
Or you can stay a little longer. If you want, of course…
SOUL B
Since we are never meeting again…
BODY
I wanted to experience something. I wanted to be missed and I wanted to miss. Where are the promised tears and blood and agony? The real things, you know.
SOUL B
Go to war. Plenty of choises: Africa, America, East, South East, South Western west.
SOUL A
Or you can always go to Jerusalem. Everybody’s going there these days. You could be praying with a machine gun in your hands. That would be true, right?
BODY
And I was going to, wasn’t I? It’s all because of these people, only because of them. Here’s how it goes- you listen to those people, you do what they say and then you find yourself in the freaking mountains, eating grass like some freaking goat. And then you wonder “what am I doing here”, “what have I done with my life”. This is how it’s supposed to be. And to go somewhere alone, without you… That would be strange.
SOUL A
Don’t tell me that you don’t like it. You always were ready to go somewhere alone, especially when there was French girls involved. I saw you throught.
BODY
Go ahead and try to fall in love and get heartbroken in one night.
MIND
I tried. Wasn’t worth it, though.
HEART
I think praising those Russian psychoanalytics and listening to their fancy speeches wasn’t worth it either.
BODY
We shouldn’t have done this. We should have stayed togerther. I’m telling you, “4 in 1” coffee is the best.
MIND
This situation reminds me the pigeons of the city. Just another day I saw ten dead pigeons. They killed themselves. They flew up high and then crashed themselves into concrete. And we, just like the rest of the pigeons felt jealous. Cos only they used their free will to do it.
BODY
It’s about time for you to stop your speeches. It suits you, but it doesn’t hide you shame. You of course think it does.
SOUL A
You want to be wise so that no one thinks you’re stupid…
SOUL B
...but not because you really want it.
MIND
Go and you won’t have to listen to me. Anyway, this goodbye is taking way too long.
HEART
From now on you all can live however you wanna. Just great. But why we couldn’t wait for him to die normally?
MIND
What is normal in this situation? And which part of this doesn’t sound normal to you? We made a decision. We did it. And now it’s done. It’s normal. You see? Face it his existence was soaked in complications.
BODY
You know, when there are so many thoughts and feelings of your own and you also have to listen to others, you can really go crazy. And that’s what happened that night. And it should have happened a long time ago. It’s bullshit to change something now. We should better find a new one. That’s the only lifestyle we know.
HEART
I liked living with him.
MIND
But you didn’t like life in general?
HEART
No, only liked to live.
SOUL B
Isn’t it the same?
HEART
No, it’s not the same.
SOUL B
What’s the difference?
MIND
It’s not the same, for sure. Life is everything - events, people, things. And living is your personal business. I, personally, prefer life to living.
HEART
But you like to suffer most of all. You just like being miserable. The more you know, the more you want and it is never enough. And then you get disappointed. You especially like to be disappointed by yourself. You love suffering so much that you even make others’ miseries your own.
MIND
That’s a very strong statement. I like to seek, I desire knowledge. Every word seduces me to know more. And for you, you are afraid to belong to this crazy world. Then you feel sad and I feel happy because I know that I am connected. And only then I know that I exist.
SOUL B
Is there anything you wouldn’t like to know?
SOUL A
Like, basically, don’t want to and don’t even try to.
MIND
I simply would never ask you that.
HEART
So tell us then. What you would never ask me?
MIND
You have to promise not to answer.
HEART
Just say it.
MIND
Who are you?
HEART
I am I and you are you. That’s simple.
MIND
But what’s essentially you? Is it what you want to be? Someone, that you were until his death? Or the one that I see now?
HEART
So this is what you don’t know?
MIND
It is impossible, everyday is different. And now you can be anything. Who told you that you have to wear the clothes of a loving person?
HEART
I don’t know, I’ve always been like this.
MIND
You have. But now it’s not important anymore, you can be anything.
SOUL B
Absolutely anything? It’s even scary a bit.
SOUL B
But we can try.
MIND
You have to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you truly are the person you wanted to be before you were born. Or you forgot? And it became easier like this?
HEART
Do you always have to rub your knowledge into our faces? Probably you have forgotten who you’ve wanted to be and don’t even try to remember. And you don’t give a damm about it.
MIND
Maybe you are saying truth…
BODY
Calm down with your higher causes, they are unreachable anyway.
SOUL A
So what do you want then?
SOUL B
Yes, yes. You! What do you want?
BODY
I just wanted to be happy, quietly live my life, just that. One has a loving person, job, money. And that’s it, you don’t need anything else. Like for these four night persons, it was enough to have each other, neverending funny conversation and they felt good. That’s it.
SOUL A
Just that?
SOUL B
So little?
BODY
Well, then it was like that, now I don’t know anything anymore.
SOUL B
Do you remember when he was still alive and we always found the answer? And now we are scattered.
SOUL A
He died because he was naïve. Natural selection.
HEART
No, we confused him.
SOUL B
He was expecting too much out of this. That’s what happened.
SOUL A
These two Russians took him for drinks, French girls for pleasures of the flesh and that’s that.
BODY
It all has happened before. When you convinced him that freedom was what he needed and he dived into it and refused everything and went to the mountains.
SOUL B
And he was happy.
BODY
No, no, then he was like that and when he got back I showed him the way it should be. Neat and quiet.
SOUL A
Then he lessened and lost his bout.
MIND
Then you made him to fall in love twice in a row. It was too much for him. But the most cruel thing was that I convinced him that we are affected by gravitation, that human mind is invincible. Then he believed in himself, in science and experimented, read everything he got his hands on. He wanted to know everything.
SOUL A
Demagogy.
SOUL B
Total demagogy. He already started.
MIND
Let me finish. He believed that one must know everything and try everything. That’s why he layed down on the train tracks. Because he believed that the number which tells the height of the gap between rails and the train is like it’s written in the book and he will fit in that gap, just like a camel would fit there.
BODY
He himself was a camel. Before, when we haven’t changed him.
HEART
He wasn’t drunk before.
SOUL A
But that was long time ago.
SOUL B
And only for a short while.
HEART
He had many desires. He inspired us to be who we are, to search, to try, but that didn’t help him.
SOUL A
You won’t make it come back.
BODY
But he still was part of us. Like we were part of him.
MIND
We still are. A bit.
SOUL B
If we would merge into a person again. Would that person be better or worse than we are?
MIND
I don’t know. It wouldn’t be easy for him. We would have our own problems and he would have them all.
SOUL A
But he would experience all of it.
SOUL B
All and maybe even more.
MIND
But he wouldn’t be happy.
HEART
He would be. For a short while.
BODY
Maybe. But just maybe. We’re all mixed up in this together.
HEART
But we should gather together again, we can’t do differently. We can’t run away from each other, we are the same. We will always be together.
SOUL A
We didn’t kill him to find a new one. We did it so we can live separately and not to see each other again.
HEART
So you didn’t like him or us? Not even a bit?
SOUL A
How to say…
SOUL B
It wasn’t that bad…
HEART
Wouldn’t you like to say anything before you go? To ask anything? Because…
SOUL B
I would like to know why we were the way we were. Was it decided from above? Or did we made up our roles in this performance?
SOUL A
I really would like to know this. And also, who wrote this? That is really interesting.
MIND
That is not important anymore. What will be left unanswered…
BODY
...that will stay unanswered.
MIND
Do you know how hurricanes come to be? Opposites, opposite movements of air flows. And we all are like these air flows, all differ in heat and direction.
BODY
We are alive only because we are oppose.
SOUL A
So we are alive because of balance?
SOUL B
If there were no you, there would be no me?
HEART
Want we this or not, we have to apologise and go back to the starting point.
SOUL A
And the end point, too.
BODY
There is no need to apologise. We haven’t done anything wrong. We are who we are.
MIND
We were damm honest. Even too honest.
SOUL B
We should find new us and new him, not necesserily the same, it can be something different… It is important to find us. Without me there won’t be you and I am not able to do anything without you, too. So why did we break up?
SOUL A
To live separately.
SOUL B
But we can’t do that.
MIND
We only have to wait. And the balance will come. And you’ll be fine on your own. I’m going. It was fun. Maybe we’ll meet someday.
HEART
I’m going, too. I can’t look at him anymore.
BODY
I see.
SOUL A
But maybe let’s stay together for a while? We could pick up what we have shattered.
BODY
To build again.
MIND
To think again.
HEART
To love again.
BODY
To experience.
SOUL B
To dream.
SOUL A
Or just to live.
Uncomfortable pause.
SOUL A
Well then, we can go to the clinics.
HEART
Which one?
SOUL B
Any, where there would be available ones, let’s go there.
MIND
Just not to Antakalnis. I’ve heard there are many reserved ones, so we can try something else.
BODY
We should. We can stop at a bar on our way or we’ll have to wait for 20 years again before we can.
HEART
It’s shame you can never start at the middle.
The end.
