2018

(Male voices are heard in the distance singing a song):

Oh homeland of ploughmen and songs
Why do you punish us so
What is that bright tomorrow
You‘re leading us to through pain and blood
 

Wherefrom come this anger and vengeance
This lying in the name of Lithuania
Whose is that heated breath
Above my childish head?

Homeland, oh homeland of mine
With whom and against what is your path?
Why is it that you so tear me apart
What is it that you seek in my heart?

Scene 1

A voice from the TV: Good morning, Lithuania. As we know, the presidential election will take place in only two weeks. Naturally, we hope you will all participate, thus helping Lithuania continue on its speedy path towards a modern, Western society. Meanwhile, our guest today is one of the candidates, a representative of the Lithuanian Muslim Party, which has recently been of the most perspective and active parties – its founder Marid Aswad. Hello, good morning. Tell me, how do you feel with the upcoming election?

MARID: Good morning. Well, to tell you the truth I...

(the voice is cut off, the TV switched off. A man with a remote in his hand is on-stage, he is putting on a tie and a suit jacket.)

ADOLFAS: Good morning. Hello, guten morgen, or maybe salam alaikum...
RAIMONDA (from the backstage): Who are you talking to?
ADOLFAS: The nation.
RAIMONDA: Who?
ADOLFAS: Myself, darling, myself.

(Raimonda comes in, dressed provocatively. She is doing her hair, tying a colourful bonnet)

ADOLFAS (eyeing her): Must be the feminists?
RAIMONDA: No.
ADOLFAS: The asexuals then?
RAIMONDA: SDPASLHW. Today’s the second meeting.
ADOLFAS: SDPASLHW?
RAIMONDA: Society for Decreasing Post-Abortion Stress in Lonely Homosexual Women.
ADOLFAS: But you’re not any of those.
RAIMONDA: So what? I’m a caring member of our society nonetheless. You’d be surprised to know just how many women like that there are, and how little support and understanding they get from others.
ADOLFAS: You could say that about any of the organizations you’re in.
RAIMONDA: Each organization, of course, is exceptional and founded in order to increase attention to specific minorities and help people. But I’m talking about a very sensitive problem here. So I was thinking, maybe you could join us sometime? It would make a decent article, don’t you think?
ADOLFAS: Maybe someday.
RAIMONDA: Also, don’t forget that you promised to come to the charity event for lowering the social exclusion of victims of atypical body build.
ADOLFAS: I don’t remember promising that.
RAIMONDAS: We talked about this...
ADOLFAS: Are these the obese ones?
RAIMONDA: They’re not obese; the society wants you to think that.
ADOLFAS: So what’s the exclusion we’re talking about here?
RAIMONDA: Don’t start. I have to go, I don’t want to be late.

(leaves)

Scene 2

(The man finishes putting the tie on and sits by the table. People bring papers to him, one by one, making a pile. There is a computer on the table, office noise is heard in the background, the man writes on the computer. People keep coming to him one by one, holding tablets, telling him something. Only pieces of the conversations are heard over the noise)

THE EMPLOYEES: Russia is doing another military drill near China’s borders... Soldiers from Lithuania and all over Europe are being sent to the USA for defensive purposes... The representative of the Lithuanian Muslim Party is about to sue the Republic of Lithuania in the Strasbourg court over a refugee not getting a double citizenship...

(Adomas comes on stage wearing a suit. Everyone leaves except for Adolfas. The man approaches Adolfas, leans on the table, shuffles the papers around)

ADOMAS: Your tie is quite exquisite today, dear Adolfas. Must be your wife’s choice?
ADOLFAS: Indeed it is. How’d you guess?
ADOMAS: A smart and radiant woman, your wife. You see, my nephew is her student. Somehow I never had the chance to tell you that. But that is beside the point. Adolfas, my dear, I want you to know that I respect you very much as a journalist and an editor. And even more so as a human being.
ADOLFAS: Thank you, how nice.
ADOMAS: But my darling, your last article made me worry.
ADOLFAS: Worry?
ADOMAS: You do see what’s going on in the world, right, my darling Adolfas? People have everything and lack nothing. Which is why they don’t get enough stress in their lives. And stress is very much required, for if we don’t get the appropriate amount of it, a constant, slow stress will begin, neuroses and psychoses. And I didn’t just come up with this – it’s been proven clinically. So what does one do when there’s no stress?
ADOLFAS: I don’t know.
ADOMAS: One searches for it. And tell me, my good man, where does one look for it?
ADOLFAS: I’m afraid I don’t know once again.
ADOMAS: No worries, I’ll help you. Media and only media! It has to contain everything – starting with pulp rumours for indulging curiosity and ending with depressive news and speculations. People need stress because they’re bored. They have to be worried about something. Don’t you think? And it just so happens that it’s precisely our job to satisfy these needs, to exile boredom from their lives at least for a short while and let them shiver, if you will, to spice things up a little. Am I being clear, my darling?
ADOLFAS: I suppose so... But isn’t objectivity our top priority?
ADOMAS: And what about it? Are we not objective if we present the same information with slightly different colouring and script?

(Adolfas remains silent. Adomas pulls out a tablet and places it before Adolfas)

ADOMAS: Alright then, about your article. What do you see here?
ADOLFAS: My article.
ADOMAS: Yes, of course. And what article is that?
ADOLFAS: Yet another Russian military drill.
ADOMAS: And?
ADOLFAS: And absolutely nothing. It’s just another drill.
ADOMAS: But that is where you’re wrong, my good man. It’s not ‘just another drill’, otherwise no one would have asked you to write about it, now would they?
ADOLFAS: But I did write it. I presented the information.
ADOMAS: Yes, splendid work, but you presented information ONLY. And where are the spices we asked for, the ones I’ve been scarcely getting from you? It’s a danger, a whiff of war in the air. The Russians are amassing their military forces near the Chinese border, performing drills there. It’s not just anything. Something’s wrong. We should be worried.
ADOLFAS: I don’t understand...
ADOMAS: You do, Adolfas, you do. You’re qualified and one of our better journalists, it’s just that you use your skills inappropriately sometimes. However, I’d still like to give you a chance to better yourself. Rewrite it.
ADOLFAS: But there is nothing to rewrite. It’s the truth.
ADOMAS: Don’t you dare say you know the truth. Nobody does.
ADOLFAS: Maybe I do. You’d have to be pretty stupid to let some speculation and wild guesses cast a shadow on the facts. (an awkward pause) And what if I don’t rewrite it?

A cardboard box is pushed onto the stage, Adomas sweeps all of Adolfas’ papers into the box off the table.

ADOMAS: Nothing to worry about, my darling Adolfas. We’ll find someone who will.

(Adolfas is sitting on the stage, holding the cardboard box in his hands. A doorbell is heard after a while. Adolf opens the door and Marija walks in)

MARIJA: Hey, Adolfas, oh, I’m so sorry to bother you, but Raimonda forgot her kids’ drawings, and I was in her office, so I thought I’d drop by, take them. I live nearby anyway. Oh, she is so distracted sometimes! But I don’t blame her, she has so much on her plate... And these children, little monsters! Well, take them, what are you waiting for, I’m not holding on to them forever. Oh, I see you changed your curtains. These might work better. Not so dim.

(Adolfas takes the paintings from her. Kids’ drawings are on display via multimedia. In them people of different races and shapes, all holding hands or hugging, white doves everywhere, the sun is shining etc.)

ADOLFAS: Original. What can I say.
MARIJA: Oh, they just keep copying everything off of each other, even better if the teacher shows an example beforehand, then most of the paintings become identical. But the point is that they all stay on subject.
ADOLFAS: And what was the subject? Peace and quiet, maybe?
MARIJA: No, the assignment was to draw Lithuania the way you see it. My class also drew something similar, when I took these I almost thought that I accidentally took my own. Can you imagine, I have not a single child in the whole class who can draw things so that I don’t have to ask “what is that?” afterwards? Sometimes I have completely no idea what they give me. Is it a disability or an early talent. No, I have no need for talents, they only cause trouble.
ADOLFAS: Did you explain to the kids what they should draw?
MARIJA: Well I told you, the assignment was to draw Lithuania the way they see it and understand it. Listen, Adolfas, can we talk a little? I know Raimonda has her own beliefs on this matter, but still, aren’t you considering your own little monster by now? It’s a pretty good time, you both have jobs, live a good life, why not, huh?
ADOLFAS: Thanks for the drawings.
MARIJA: Alright, alright, it was no problem. And throw that cardboard box away, it’s ruining the view. Raimonda keeps tidying up and you, as usual, keep making a mess.
ADOLFAS: I’ll make sure I throw it away. Thank you again.

(Marija leaves, Adolfas puts the drawings in his box and takes it off the stage and burns it)

ADOLFAS: Lithuania as you see it.

Scene 3

BENAS: Well he can go to hell then!
ADOLFAS: Yeah...
BENAS: What a faggot...
ADOLFAS: Total faggot... He’s ready to fuck everyone there. If you wanna get there, you gotta go through him first...
BENAS: Wait a sec, so did you...
ADOLFAS: No fucking way. Who do you think I am?
BENAS: Sorry dude, you know, these days...
ADOLFAS: Yeah, yeah, it happens.
BENAS: Those were the days...
ADOLFAS: Yes, they were.
BENAS: If only we could go back...
ADOLFAS: Yeah, if only... Which days are you talking about?
BENAS: When we had our own newspaper in uni, remember? Damn, we used to write just about anything and no one said a word.
ADOLFAS: They did, remember the way we crushed Eglė Kuzmauskaitė after the school president election?
BENAS: Do I... She used to walk around all teared-up... How about another beer?
ADOLFAS: He’s such a fucking fag though...
BENAS: You know what, maybe it’s good you got fired.
ADOLFAS: What’s good about that?
BENAS: Think about it, it was complete bollocks there. Do this, do that, all wrong, you gotta pretend, make things up. Is that what a journalist is? I believe...
ADOLFAS: Don’t be ridiculous, you’re drunk.
BENAS: I believe... You’re drunk too. I believe that real journalists fears nothing and only work for themselves. Dude, listen to me. A real journalist does not take his readers for idiots and tells them the truth – whether it’s pleasant or not. It’s a divine profession, not some commercial plough, think about it. You were just a tool there, a dirty working tool... Listen, another beer, hm?
ADOLFAS: You’re right.
BENAS: About the beer?
ADOLFAS: About me. I was just a tool. I was not a journalist...
BENAS: You weren’t.
ADOLFAS: I did not serve the country as a keen observer of real and important events.
BENAS: You didn’t.
ADOLFAS: God oh God, I’m just as much a lowlife as everyone else.
BENAS: What if you started your own newspaper?
ADOLFAS: My own newspaper? You know how much dough it would take...
BENAS: Come on. I’m not talking an actual editorial office. I’m talking a blog. A small thing, just like all those teenagers, those knights of the chord. Think about it, it would be just like back in uni. You’d be your own boss. It’s not like you’re doing something nowadays anyway.
ADOLFAS: I don’t know... What am I gonna write about?
BENAS: Pancakes and jam! Dude, you’ve got plenty to say to these morons! These lunatics... You’d be like McMurphy in the looney bin. You’d introduce a little chaos, make the nation rumble. You’d be the new bard, the new Maironis!
ADOLFAS: Yes, you’re right, I do have a lot I want to say.
BENAS: So say it!
ADOLFAS: I will...
BENAS: Say it!
ADOLFAS: I’ll tell you all, you imbeciles! Everyone’s blind and deaf. They don’t see where Lithuania’s going... Turning into a common house for some clowns.
BENAS: That’s right. The thing is, though, to remain anonymous. They’ll eat you alive if you sign it with your own name. You need a nickname. Something like...

(both stay silent for a while)

BENAS: A thousand thunders! I can’t think of...
ADOLFAS: Thunder. I like it – Thunder.
BENAS (laughing, hugging Adolfas): Magnificent! Bravo! Another beer for the occasion, huh?
ADOLFAS: Make that two!

(Adolfas is at home, writing his article. Stands up, starts ‘writing’ the article for the audience)

ADOLFAS: Well then, let’s get started.
ADOLFAS: Attention, attention, maddening news.
To those who might need a drop of negativity,
So that they could escape their boring lives at least for a little bit,
And so that they’d have something to talk seriously about.
So we proclaim to you: be praised freedom of speech, faith, thought.
But proclaiming this, we often forget the truth.
So much for freedom. Just like back in the incurable days.
To name a usual enemy who is not so much an enemy
is the same as plotting to betray your own country.
Traitor of the country! So much time seems to have passed
And yet we keep coming back to the same thing.
Condemn a thing done by western countries, tell them they sometimes stick their noses too far.
Pull a dark fact into the light
about a beloved guerrilla.
Don’t smile to the foreigner
or reach your hand out to a Russian, a Korean,
Ask where did being Lithuanian go, disagree with double citizenship.
And hello, darling, you’re officially a fascist,
Conservative, undereducated and, moreover, a chauvinist.
And that is freedom! Democracy, light.
That’s why newspapers, like little kids,
Have been told to draw doves, peace and hand holding.
To feed you, you idiots, with pre-processed truth,
And to waddle around in your feces, gentlemen
And to still feel the smell a few generations down.
Or, if you’re not feeling like anything serious,
You can enlighten the people about the girl who dyed her hair brighter.
Or that this one guy decided to eat only cakes for lunch as of today.
Publicisim. Modernity!

Signed your friend,

Thunder

ADOLFAS (breathing deeply, exhausted): And what now? (he is reluctant to publish his article) No one will read it anyway. Enter!

Scene 4

(Darkness on stage. Christina Aguilera’s ‘Beautiful’ comes on. As the light starts increasing, many women can be seen on-stage. A table with snacks is set further away, corpulent people, mostly women, mingle around it, eating the snacks.

There also are balloons and brochures on the stage. A microphone with a stand is set in the centre. Raimonda is standing beside it, anxiously looking at her watch, occasionally searching for something in the distance. She approaches the microphone eventually)

RAIMONDA: Testing, testing (clears throat). Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and especially the ladies. It makes me glad to see you all here. By organizing this charity event for lowering the social exclusion of victims of atypical body build type, we hope to draw the society’s attention to this urgent social problem. We are sorry to inform you that the chairwoman of our club, Natasha, won’t be able to join us today, because she is currently undergoing treatment for diabetes... We wish her all the best and hope to gladden her with this magnificent event tonight.

(The listeners are applauding. Raimonda keeps on looking for something in the distance and looks at her phone hastily)

RAIMONDA: The standard of beauty has been constantly changing over the course of human history, which is why it was always so difficult to describe beauty. Nowadays we live in a world which is very advanced in every aspect, and beauty takes on a completely different and much wider, more flexible definition. However, there are unfortunately still many who do not understand that and are stubbornly clinging to one of the standards of the past. My darlings, do not let yourself be humiliated. You and only you are the queens of your body. Well, kings as well. You have a full right to wear both skinny and baggy clothing, don’t be ashamed to eat as much as you want in front of others. Pay no attention to which clothing design makes you look fat or slim.

(Raimonda notices Adolfas entering the stage)

RAIMONDA: So, love yourselves and others will love you too. Thank you.

(Everyone applauds, shouting in approval. Raimonda moves the mic stand to the side and approaches Adolfas)

RAIMONDA: Where were you all this time? I told you to be here at 3 p.m. Well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you what you missed if need be. (starts looking around again) Simply unbelievable. The photographer’s also late...
ADOLFAS: You hired a photographer?
RAIMONDA: I didn’t, she’s also a member. A very cute and clever girl, offered to take pictures... Well, go on, talk to people, have a look around, I’ll go make some more sandwiches.

(Raimonda leaves. Adolfas approaches two women standing nearby)

ADOLFAS: Good day, ladies.
WOMAN 1: Good day.
WOMAN 2 (breathing heavily): Hello.
ADOLFAS: May I talk to you for a while? I’d like to ask you some questions.
WOMAN 1: You’re very welcome.
WOMAN 2: Sure.
ADOLFAS: I wonder if I may - what is it personally that you want to tell the world with this event?
WOMAN 1: Well, first of all it’s that being plump is also beautiful.
ADOLFAS: So you’re saying that, having noticed a large number of obese... Plump people, the others are simply going to change their opinion and start feeling sympathetic for people like you?
WOMAN 1: Well, people are going to look at it from a different perspective...
ADOLFAS: Which one? There’s a lot of perspectives here.
WOMAN 1: The one showing that every person can be beautiful and sexy, honey. Both large and small. The better people understand that, the better plump people with feel and it will be beautiful. They will be confident, therefore sexy.
WOMAN 2: Yeah...
ADOLFAS: So, if I understand you correctly, your goal of this event is to tell people that everyone can be beautiful, and that way you’ll actually become sexier. Or is it that this event is more like a preparation for the future, when the number of obese... plump people will grow even more and, well, people will have to choose from what they have.
WOMAN 2: How dare you..?
ADOLFAS: Hear me out. If I were you, I wouldn’t waste my time with events like this and would go take a healthy diet course instead.
WOMAN 1: Ha! It is your ignorance talking, darling. Plumpness does not make a person healthy or unhealthy. You might very well have many more health problems than me or anyone else here. And our health is our own business anyway.
ADOLFAS: You may be right, but I think that it is not my ignorance that is talking, rather my polite concern. I believe, you see, that a healthy soul lives in a healthy body. The more healthy souls there are, the healthier the society.
WOMAN 2: I cannot tolerate your obnoxiousness any longer.
ADOLFAS: Obnoxiousness? I’m simply telling the truth.
EVELINA: Truth told without manners is nothing more but cruelty.

(Adolfas turns around. A slim, young girl is behind him, holding a camera in her hands. Both women go up to her to say hello and then walk away, looking with discontent at Adolfas)

ADOLFAS: So you seem to be my colleague today in terms of information distribution.
EVELINA: I doubt that the information distribution is in good hands, sir...
ADOLFAS: Adolfas.
EVELINA: Raimonda told me about you. Nice to meet you, Adolfas. Evelina.

(both shake hands. Evelina makes a couple of pictures of the environment, Adolfas looks at her)

ADOLFAS: May I ask a question?
EVELINA: Of course.
ADOLFAS: What do you get out of this club?
EVELINA: Probably the same as your wife.
ADOLFAS: So that would be the moral satisfaction of being seen as a good and concerned citizen?
EVELINA: I would not describe it as cynically as you did. You see, I honestly think that people with certain flaws or exceptional features should get the attention they need and that it is a way to a healthier society. I also believe that everyone has the right to be loved. Is that good enough a reason for me to be here?
ADOLFAS: That decision is not for me to make. You’re using your own time on this. But you do admit that the obesity of these people is a flaw?
EVELINA: Well, yes, in a way. But a flaw like that shouldn’t be the reason for losing tolerance and respect for others, don’t you think?

(Adolfas stays silent, looking at Evelina with awe, while she takes pictures)

EVELINA: Right, so I answered your question and now, my colleague for today in terms of information distribution, please excuse me. I have to do my job.
ADOLFAS: Absolutely, so do I.
EVELINA: See you. It was a pleasure to meet you. I’ll send the pictures to your wife.
ADOLFAS: Why the middleman? Send them to me.

(Adolfas hands Evelina his card. Evelina thanks him and walks away, Adolfas stands alone for a while. He pulls out a keyboard and starts “writing” an article out loud)

ADOLFAS: Hello again.
I hope I’m not addressing a pig farm.
To gorge yourself until you barely fit through the door,
You say, its allowed – it’s a free country.
It bothers no one and no one should care about it,
Everyone’s pretty in their own way, amazing citizens.
It’s when these citizens start complaining that seats are too small,
When you have to give your seat to fatties – they’re disabled, you see,
Clothes are too small, meals are too small...
A conclusion begs itself to be made – people are sick.
Try telling them that! The disability’s gone in seconds!
They’re healthy, they simply love themselves stronger,
While these skinny whores have no idea about pleasure.
Teaching people to live, to eat, like they know a thing!
They probably cry about dying of hunger when no one’s looking.
That’s the way it is, if a person’s skinny – they have an eating disorder,
You may wonder if they eat at all, if they fear stronger winds.
But if you can’t see your own feet over your belly – that’s just ignoring the standards.
A fatty can’t be called a fatty,
Because free speech and a new definition of beauty are in the house.
So modern.

Your friend,
Thunder

Scene 5

RAIMONDA (on the phone): Oh, darling, ignore it. You know how people are sometimes... Some kid must’ve talked smack, and now you’re crying... Come now, calm down, don’t let it get to your head.

(Raimonda keeps pacing back and forth, Adolfas is sitting on the couch. Raimonda finishes her conversation, sighs and sits on the couch as well)

RAIMONDA: Horrible...
ADOLFAS: What?
RAIMONDA: Some ignorant soviet cad’s bullying innocent people.
ADOLFAS: What are you talking about?
RAIMONDA: Haven’t you heard? Some guy wrote these obnoxious articles, and now my girls are worried...
ADOLFAS: So people do read it after all…
RAIMONDA: They do. It would be better if they didn’t, if they stopped filling their heads with some imbecile’s fantasies.
ADOLFAS: You think it’s necessarily a man who wrote all that?
RAIMONDA: Of course it was! Well, I’m not discriminating, anything’s possible, but let’s admit that a woman would not write so insensitively about people with atypical body build. Must be some regular sad person, stuck in the past, married to a wife he doesn’t love, working a job he doesn’t love – simply a man with no place to let his frustration out.
ADOLFAS: Indeed, I think that’s exactly how it is.
RAIMONDA: People like that bug me. Who could live with such a person...
ADOLFAS: Indeed, who.
RAIMONDA: A complete idiot, maybe.
ADOLFAS: Oh definitely, a complete idiot.

(Raimonda’s phone rings)

RAIMONDA: Hello, Rasytė. Oh, I see, I see... I’ll come to your place, okay? Bye. (hangs up) I’m going out for a while. Rasa is very sensitive, she takes sedatives for every little thing that happens. I can’t leave her alone.
ADOLFAS: Sure, and hurry up. She might start stress-eating.

(Raimonda doesn’t hear Adolfas’ last words and leaves. The phone rings again. Adolfas’ this time. He picks up)

ADOLFAS: Hello? Oh... Hi. Oh yes, the pictures... Of course we can. I’ll be there soon.

(Adolfas comes into a cafe, sits at a table where Evelina is sat)

EVELINA: Hi.
ADOLFAS: Hey. You look beautiful.
EVELINA: Thank you. I’m sorry I dragged you all the way out here. My computer broke down today, I couldn’t send the pictures, so I thought, if it’s not too much of a hassle, I could give them to you like this...
ADOLFAS: It’s quite alright, even better.
EVELINA (handing him a flash drive): You weren’t busy, were you?
ADOLFAS: Please, don’t be so formal. No, I wasn’t.
EVELINA: What about work? I didn’t expect you’d have time.
ADOLFAS: I’m on a bit of a break right now, so I have plenty of free time. We can meet like this every day as far as I’m concerned.
EVELINA: Gladly, it’s just that... I don’t know if some of the pictures will do. You know, I’m not very good at it yet.
ADOLFAS: I think they’ll be great. I saw the passion you work with, so the pictures can’t be unsuitable.
EVELINA: Thanks. You know, I could say the same about your articles. I liked them a lot.
ADOLFAS: How did you... How do you know they’re mine?
EVELINA (laughing): Well, when they’re published in a newspaper and your name’s under them, it’d be difficult not to know they’re yours.
ADOLFAS: Oh, those. And what is it that you like about them?
EVELINA: I’m not sure how to put it, but I feel something when I read them. Some sort of a passion, something different. It’s very captivating.
ADOLFAS: Do you know where that passion comes from?
EVELINA: Where?
ADOLFAS: Hate.
EVELINA: Hate for what?
ADOLFAS: My job. I hate boundaries, I want to write freely, ignore the rules. You know what I mean?
EVELINA: Freedom... Yeah, I do, I know that really well. I think we all lack freedom, even though we live in a free, democratic country. Freedom from duties, from relationships, from ourselves.
ADOLFAS: Especially from relationships... Evelina, if you only knew...

(Evelina, seeing Adolfas’ emotions, takes his hand. He does the same. They look at each other)

ADOLFAS: You’re amazing, Evelina. Did anyone ever tell you that? A lot of people I bet.
EVELINA: On the contrary, you’re the first. But Adolfas, what if someone sees us...
ADOLFAS: Let them look. You woke something up in me, something I haven’t felt for a long time.
EVELINA: I need to go.

(Evelina stands up, so does Adolfas, he takes her by the hand)

ADOLFAS: We can be free together.

(Evelina kisses him and turns around, preparing to walk out)

EVELINA: You know, my computer did not break down at all.

(Adolfas stands and looks at Evelina leaving for a while. Suddenly the people around him start cheering and shouting. Adolfas seems confused, he sees Benas)

ADOLFAS: Benas!
BENAS: Oh, hi.
ADOLFAS: What’s going on?
BENAS: The results are in.
ADOLFAS: What?
BENAS: Damn dude, you’re completely out of it... Presidential election. Marid Aswad won.
ADOLFAS: Hold up, is that the one from the Muslim party?
BENAS: Yup, the same. Listen dude, where were you?
ADOLFAS: How... How could he had won...
BENAS: Well, it’s not yet final. Something’s, like, wrong with the voting, so there’s gonna be a second vote. But I think he’ll get elected anyway.
ADOLFAS (shaking Benas): A second vote?! Thank God, Benas, it’s not too late to do something about it!
BENAS: Do what? What’s wrong with you? I’ll vote for him again.
ADOLFAS: Are you serious?
BENAS: Sure. The dude knows what he’s doing. Really well educated, a good politician. There’s no one else to vote for.
ADOLFAS: Are you serious?
BENAS: Well, fuck.
ADOLFAS: Fuck... (pause) I’ll do something about it.
BENAS: What the hell are you gonna do, Adolfas?
ADOLFAS: I’ll write an article.
BENAS: Come on. What article? Forget this nonsense.
ADOLFAS: You told me yourself to create and write my own newspaper, why is it suddenly nonsense?
BENAS: Dude, I was drunk. And so were you. I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously. But whatever, write if you want. Write about fat chicks or something, just stay out of politics.
ADOLFAS: What about the sacred duty of journalists?
BENAS: Alright, alright. I know what I said, but I repeat – stay out of politics. You’ll get burnt.
ADOLFAS: No, Benas, I think it is you all who’ll get burnt if you don’t open your eyes in time.
BENAS: Do as you will. I gave you sound advice.
ADOLFAS: Yes, and it was to start writing.

(Adolfas walks to the side, pulls out a keyboard and starts “writing”)

ADOLFAS: Who needs a nation? Its borders?
If everyone comes and goes, and does as they please.
President of the state? How can this be?!
Does he know what being Lithuanian means?
Does he love the Lithuanian countryside?
Forests, rivers and old farmsteads?
Does he feel what Lithuanians feel,
Singing a sad folk song?
The nation will disappear, but it matters not.
We’re waiting for guests with our arms wide open!
So that the population would be bigger.
So that the country would be more varied and west-oriented,
So that we would be tolerant and happy.
Europe will go just the same as Rome did.
When the barbarians come and push the real rulers out.
Soon we will have to obey, be guests in our own lands,
We’ll have to let our nationality rot away.
But as long as we seem peaceful and friendly,
Until we choke on the doves’ white feathers.
And even though you don’t believe it, I’m no racist,
I just think that making a country into a charity-and-alms house
Doesn’t bode well.
The second election is our last hope
To undo the done damage and get ourselves together.
Become a Lithuanian nation again.

Respectfully,
Your humble servant,

Thunder

Scene 6

EVELINA: I’m tired.
ADOLFAS: Are you cold?
EVELINA: No. I’m really warm. (pause) My father never took me to the seaside. Always the homestead. This ramshackle, rotten, bland homestead in an old village in Lithuania. I used to pretend, of course, that I’m having fun. But I always needed the sea...
ADOLFAS: I can bring you the sea.
EVELINA (silently): Not one like this. (pause) Do you know what was it that attracted me to you, Adolfas? You’re the kind of man who has goals larger than personal gain. You have ideals, no matter what they might be. A man like that will never abandon you or leave. And a man like that, if need be, will take you to the seaside.
ADOLFAS: Of course I will, Evelina.

(both cuddle in silence)

EVELINA: Have you ever had an abortion?

(Adolfas looks at her confused)

EVELINA: Well, for example, when you don’t even try to write down the ideas that came to you, because you instantly decide that they’re worth nothing. So you let them die then and there.
ADOLFAS: I don’t know, I probably have... But not anymore.
EVELINA: I’ve had many abortions in my life. That’s how I met your wife. If it weren’t for her...
ADOLFAS: Are you saying that...?
EVELINA: You can’t imagine what it feels like. If I could go back... Nevermind that I was left alone. I would’ve managed. Hundreds of women do. Do you know what it feels like to have something that you can’t forgive yourself for, ever?

(Adolfas keeps silent, takes her by the hand)

ADOLFAS: But these organizations, they helped you, right?
EVELINA: Yes, I’m glad I know your wife. She’s a great woman.

(pause)

ADOLFAS: I know what this looks like. But I loved her. I really did. I was amazed by her desire to rebel, to stand out from the crowd and her wish to help everyone. But over time it just began... wearing me out, annoying me. She grew tired of me as well. I see that. We both live our separate lives, but when we’re standing at the mall, discussing for hours which curtains might suit the living room better, we seem very close. I don’t think I’d care if she had an affair with someone...

(Evelina suddenly stands up, takes Adolfas’ hand)

EVELINA: What are you talking about?

(They start dancing, still holding hands)

ADOLFAS: I’ll divorce Raimonda.

(Evelina stops dancing)

ADOLFAS: So we can live together. By the sea.
EVELINA: Adolfas...
ADOLFAS: Listen, there’s something I want you to know beforehand. Have you ever heard of Thunder?
EVELINA: Of course...
ADOLFAS: The one that rumbled not too long ago.

(Evelina looks at him for a while, then, having understood that Adolfas is Thunder, starts backing away from him)

EVELINA: It can’t have been you...
ADOLFAS: Yes it can. But being with you made me realize I don’t need it anymore. I don’t need Thunder, let’s live together, Evelina, and I won’t care about anything around me anymore. Let them all do as they like, as long as they like it, I don’t care.
EVELINA: I can’t believe it was you...
ADOLFAS: Does that change anything? If I hadn’t told you, you’d talk to me as usual, they way you did until now. What do some articles and our relationship have in common, anyway?
EVELINA: A lot. These articles reveal to me who I’m actually talking to. Adolfas, I don’t know if I want such a person beside me.
ADOLFAS: But you just said that you liked me having ideals, goals larger than my own personal gain.
EVELINA: But these are not the ideals I had in mind. You judge people. I think you’d start judging me as well.
ADOLFAS: No, Evelina, why would I judge you?
EVELINAS: I’m sorry, Adolfas. I can’t...

(Evelina leaves. Adolfas kicks things around, agitated. After pacing around for a while, he pulls out a keyboard and starts ‘writing’ again)

ADOLFAS: Women! You poor victims, oppressed by men.
Men that you keep flirting with, showing them your pure heart
And then you leave, spit them in their faces,
You say people like that aren’t worth your time.
You’re pure and naïve, and we’re all just animals...

(Two men appear behind Adolfas, but he doesn’t see them. One of them interrupts Adolfas’ speech)

MAN 1: Adolfas Baranauskas?
ADOLFAS: Yes...
MAN 1: Let’s go for a walk.
ADOLFAS: What do you mean? I’m not going for...

(The men grab Adolfas by the hands, put a gun in his back and take him away)

MAN 1: Not a sound. Got it?

(Adolfas is taken to some secluded place, there is a chair in the middle)

MAN 1: Sit.
ADOLFAS: Listen, what do you...
MAN 2: You’ve been told to sit.

(Adolfas sits down obediently)

MAN 1: So you like to write, huh? (Adolfas stays silent)
MAN 2 (kicking the chair): You’ve been asked a question!
ADOLFAS: I do...
MAN 1: Colourful subjects, too. Very interesting, to be honest. But your last article about the president was what got our interest high.
ADOLFAS: He’s not the president yet...
MAN 1: Not yet, but he might be. It’s just that after your passionate urging not to vote for him his ratings might go down.
ADOLFAS: Let them. Someone has to tell the truth.
MAN 1: And you, naturally, know the truth. (turning to Man 2) Careful, we might be talking to God himself here.

(Both men laugh loudly)

MAN 1: You got a problem with him?
ADOLFAS: Who?
MAN 1: The president. Do you?
ADOLFAS: He is not yet...
MAN 2: You’ve been asked if you got a fucking problem with him..!
ADOLFAS: I do, I do!
MAN 1: And what might that problem be?
ADOLFAS: He’s not Lithuanian... The president of Lithuania has to be Lithuanian.
MAN 1: And who told you that he’s not Lithuanian?
ADOLFAS: Look at him.
MAN 1 (pulls out a bunch of papers and hits Adolfas with them): Just read about him. He was born in Lithuania. He grew up here, got an education, married a Lithuanian woman.
ADOLFAS: But he’s not Lithuanian. Are you blind or something? I don’t give a squat where he was born, he is not Lithuanian.
MAN 1: I don’t get it, you gonna get a better stiffy if he’s a real Lithuanian or something?
ADOLFAS: So you admit that he’s...
MAN 2: Are you gonna get a better stiffy or not!
ADOLFAS: Yes, yes I am! He doesn’t care about this country, he probably has his own plans about destroying us all...

(Man 2 hits Adolfas)

MAN 2: Shut your mouth!
MAN 1: You don’t understand what you’re talking about. I don’t know who, but someone brainwashed you good.
ADOLFAS: You’re the brainwashed ones, not me... We don’t need presidents like that...

(Man 2 hits Adolfas a few more times)

MAN 1 (pointing a gun at Adolfas): Look, the only thing this country definitely doesn’t need is these stuck-in-the-ancient chauvinists like you, spreading heresy to a tolerant and modern nation. So if I see one more article, whatever it may be about, we’ll find you instantly and have a much more serious talk. You got it?

(Adolfas says nothing, Man 2 hits him again)

MAN 2: You got it?!
ADOLFAS: Got it...
MAN 1: Splendid. Take him away.

(Man 2 picks up a slightly spaced-out Adolfas and takes him away)

Scene 7

(A beaten-up Adolfas enters the stage. In front of him Evelina and Raimonda are making out on the couch. Adolfas falls to the floor, the women, having heard him, stand up quickly and start fixing their hair and clothes. Adolfas can’t seem to get back from it for a while, paces back and forth, sits on the couch)

RAIMONDA: Adolfas...
EVELINA: What happened to you?
ADOLFAS (interrupts them with laughter): I’ve been beaten. Beaten with steel fists today.

(The women say nothing)

ADOLFAS: Aren’t you even gonna ask why? Although you probably know that anyway. For being a good citizen. More observant than all of you. Braver. I wanted a better Lithuania. A Lithuania in which Lithuanians would feel at home, not like guests. A Lithuania with real freedom of speech, not a fictive one. Where feelings would not matter more than the facts. I wanted to see myself in a Lithuania like that. Having grown old, wearing a hat and glasses. With a woman I love by my side. Kids, maybe grandkids...
RAIMONDA: It’s still possible, darling, you don’t have to change anything. Of course Lithuania has a lot of disadvantages, but our country is still young, still growing. It’s been going forward so strong lately...
ADOLFAS: Forward? Don’t you mean backward?!
EVELINA: Adolfas, calm down. You need to rest.
ADOLFAS: How can I rest, Evelina, how? I’m not even tired. Don’t you see – I’m having fun. Such a funny situation, I’ll have something to laugh about for the rest of my life.
RAIMONDA: Please try and understand, Adolfas. You know yourself that we couldn’t have made it. I never wanted kids, the times are changing. Working with all these women just made me feel stronger carnal and spiritual connection than with any man before. It happens a lot. There’s nothing wrong with that.
ADOLFAS: No, no...
RAIMONDA: Oh stop it... Your brain’s infected with some virus of conservatism.
ADOLFAS: Wouldn’t you say that excessive liberalism is just as much an illness?
RAIMONDA: The only ill one here is you. Where are you going?

(Adolfas takes a gun out of some secret spot and starts walking towards his wife)

ADOLFAS: Yes, I’m ill. I’m down with being rational. I’m ill, because I’m completely normal, healthy and non-eccentric.
EVELINA: Adolfas, calm down, please, just sit down.
RAIMONDA: What are you thinking?! Put the gun down.
ADOLFAS: It’s sad when you think about how quickly the stereotypes of what’s right and wrong have changed. I’m wrong today, but you might be persecuted for this ten years later.
RAIMONDA: Adolfas, don’t be silly, put the gun down or I’ll call the police.
ADOLFAS: Go on, a circus can’t have too many clowns.

(Raimonda takes her phone, Adolfas shoots her. She falls on the floor. Evelina shrieks and succumbs on the floor shaking. Adolfas approaches her with the gun, strokes her hair)

ADOLFAS: Don’t shiver. Why are you shivering? I’m not going to hurt you. Did I scare you with my Thunder rumble?
EVELINA: Please... don’t.
ADOLFAS: You confused me. And I haven’t been confused for so long. I felt like a small animal that is to become domesticated, even though specimens of its species never are domestic. But I would’ve been, for you, gladly. You were the only reason that could’ve made me let it all go. You were the brightest thing I’ve ever seen. Talk, come on, talk, Evelina, tell me about the wounded snow, falling timidly on a frightened deer. Make that quiet peace silent, the one you took away from my sleep, make it silent, put it out... You’re a drop, the last drop in my sea.
EVELINA: Adolfas... Please, everything was truly real...
ADOLFAS: A drop in my sea! Just a drop! My God, and I thought you’re somehow the whole sea... Come on, speak, why are you silent? Act, just like you did your whole life. I’m your last spectator, so make sure I believe it, just like before. Act!

(Adolfas grabs her by the hair and pushes her to the middle of the stage)

ADOLFAS: Act for me, Evelina, act!

(Evelina, crying, starts dancing, a mishmash of pictures is shown on the multimedia – the same kids’ drawings, details of Lithuanian traditional life, forests etc. The lights go out)

(Adolfas comes on the stage, sits down on a bench. Lights a cigarette, starts singing “Oh homeland”. Voices join him one by one.)

The End